Archive for May, 2009


Krustee came to town yesterday! We were riding to B line to Kenmore to meet some friends of his when suddenly it filled with a huge crowd of solidly suburban chatty, vapid white people in their 20s. They were squished in from wall to wall talking about nothing. They were all of the same age, and relatively few were wearing Red Sox shirts, so I knew there wasn’t a game on at the Fenway, so wtf? I thought to myself, “whoa, so many boring white kids. What, is Dave matthews in town?” SURE ENOUGH… Dave Matthews was playing at the Fenway. We got out of there fast!

Ugh. Tonight Phish is playing. Remind me to stay FAR AWAY from Kenmore Square!

May 31, 2009 at 3:51 pm 2 comments

On another note…

This is the first night I haven’t had any alcohol in about 2 weeks. Go, me!

May 28, 2009 at 11:46 pm Leave a comment

Train Wreck City!

Mostly what I am disappointed in is that I totally destroyed a really fun friendship. I don’t really have many friends anymore, and it was nice to have someone to hang out with that I didn’t have to make plans with weeks in advance– I could be like, “hey, want to go get a drink?” and we’d meet up at the bar next to work. Oh, this is Davey I’m talking about in case you haven’t guessed. So, it was really fun– we could talk about movies and music and philosophy or whatever or just make bad jokes. Of course my stupid hormones or brain chemistry or whatever had to go fuck it all up– why do I always end up falling for my dude friends? Why can’t I just leave it alone? Dude friends NEVER like me. We’ve alr4eady established that if a dude friend were to date me, that would make him gay (thanks, pete!) This has been proven over and over again. I always have this stupid JOhn Hughes fantasy that I”ll show up to a party or something in a dress and suddenly my dude friends will see me as a Real Girl and it’ll be all romantic and shit. In reality, it’s more like “holy shit, look who’s in drag!” Why do I always think that it will be different this time? Please, tell me.

So now I feel like utter shit for being rejected as well as feeling like a general lame-ass for destroying the only good friendship I’ve had in years. What is wrong with me? Jesus. And I’ve been drinking way too much. Last night I had to get off the train because I thought I was going to pass out and/or throw up. I got off a couple of stops early and sat on a bench and cried like a little bitch because well, my life really isn’t that bad. It’s just me that constantly manages to fuck everything up. It’s like I have an inner need to sabotage all my friendships! I don’t know. It hasn’t helped that I’ve been off meds for 2 weeks because my shrink wasn’t in town to refill my prescription. Maybe I’ll feel less like shit now that I have drugs again! Maybe not.

I suppose I am still friends with Robin– he’s another dude friend who totally didn’t ever want to date me (I was just his moped on and off for a while). It took a while I think, but I did get over his sorry ass. I really need to stop liking guys in general. This whole love shit has never brought me anything but misery and angst! Why can’t I control it? It’s all brain chemistry– can’t they invent a way to make it go away? Argh. I need to just become a hermit. Luckily, I think that’s exactly what it’s going to be like spending all day with a 4-month old baby. I will not interact with any non-drooling humans at all, much less guys I could possibly fall for, and this is a gigantic blessing. God I’m so emo.

Another good think about my new job is that, though all of my favorite bars are in Allston, Nathan is a little under-age to be hanging out in them after work, so I won’t be drinking nearly as much!  This week I knew would be my last hurrah, so I pledged to party like Kim & Kelley Deal on crack… but I’ll be jumping on that sobriety wagon a few days earlier thanks to my last couple of nights!

Life would be so much easier if I just didn’t need to be around people ever! But, since I’ve managed to alienate all of my friends, I don’t even have anyone whose shoulder to cry on when I’m feeling like a pathetic little whiny bitch about such things. In fact, the few friends I have left only call me when *they* are having problems and need the proverbial shoulder. I don’t think they could handle it if *I* suddenly were the one to freak out! Goddamn. I hate feeling like this. I just need to get over it.

May 28, 2009 at 10:08 pm 3 comments

Alcohol Free Tuesday!!!

oops, didn’t happen.

When I am no longer under the influence of my future ex-coworkers, it will happen every day.

May 27, 2009 at 2:36 am Leave a comment

On another note

Afteryears of avoiding it, I’ve been text messaging a lot lately. There’s this feature that guesses words when you type in the numbers corresponding to letters (I’m not cool enough to have one of those cell phones with little keyboards and even if I did my big fat fingers probably wouldn’t be able to handle the teensy little buttons). It usually guesses what you are trying to type correctly, but it WON’T LET YOU TYPE IN SWEAR WORDS! It’s so annoying! I tried to type “fucking” in and it kept giving me “ducking” and when I did it one letter at a time, it still kept changing it. It will guess gibberish, but resist every attempt to type in “pussy” ( was trying to make a dumb pun about how my spoiled brat cats have me totally pussy-whipped). It’s like it’s programmed to not let you swear. That really cracks me up/annoys me since I guess I have a potty mouth. Just what I need, a puritanical babysitter living in my phone!

May 25, 2009 at 6:41 pm Leave a comment

Addicted to dub

So we all know that I’ve been playing the bass a whole lot lately. I can now play 5 Pixies songs! Today i figured out the bass line to “Daddy Cool” (one of the awesomely cheesiest disco songs ever) and for some reason have been drawn to dub (you know, reggae but mostly just the bass parts). I’ve been practicing dub bass lines and I’m sure I’m driving my landlady crazy, but she started vaccuuming at 7:30 this morning (it’s a HOLIDAY! WTF?) so maybe we’re even. Besides, I left my amps at Davey’s house and thus have been playing the bass through the ancient boom box that I got it for my 13th birthday. It’s hooked up to some stereo speakers– it has speaker inputs and an auxiliary jack– pretty snazzy for a cheap ass Radio Shack box! It even has equalizers so you can mix between tape decks (which are both now broken, though so I can’t play any of my Weird Al tapes) I love technology from the 80s!

So anyway– reggae. I have always avoided reggae because all I ever heard was the happy hippy dippy crap that people in Ithaca were always into. Sure Bob Marley is awesome, but if I see another ONE LOVE bumpersticker on a Ford Explorer, I think I will go postal on its driver’s fake-o hippie ass.  Dub basslines are THE SHIZZLE! I’m so addicted!

May 25, 2009 at 6:33 pm Leave a comment

Oy Vey

So it turns out the malware removal thing I installed was actually a malware program itself, which had the same name as the *real* program I downloaded before to remove it, which is why Ad-Aware wouldn’t let it update. Wow, I’m such a retard sometimes! But really, it had the same name as the good one, so how was I to know? Pay attention, I guess. Or something. Duh. I feel really stupid.

It’s a gorgeous day and I have the day off! I’m recouperating from last night’s awesome concert– Moderat (Modeselektor and Apparat together). Wow was it FREAKING AWESOME!!!! There’s something about good German techno that is just so satisfying in every way. I danced like crazy (but not like the girls in day-glo tutus who were wearing glow in the dark bracelets) and am kind of sore today, but in a good way!

So, I think I’ve officially decided that I’m not going to attempt to be a Grown Up just yet; I’m going to continue to dance and have fun until I’m too old to stand. I don’t care if I’m That Person, the old wrinkly burn-out that everyone giggles about. I’m going to have fun, dammit!

May 25, 2009 at 4:43 pm Leave a comment

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I’m out of drugs and my shrink is away for the week! Nobody can refill my prescription because they are not authorized to. Come on, people– can’t someone look at my file, see I’ve been taking these meds for a number of months, and that they’re not the kind of thing that you’re supposed to go off of cold-turkey, and just initial a refill? Apparently not. Thus, I’m getting those weird brain flashes and I’ve been feeling increasingly like jumping off a bridge. However, in a fit of I-don’t-know-what, I bought some ecstasy from a buddy of Davey My Future-ex-Coworker’s a couple of weeks ago. I was planning on taking it at the Modeselektor/Apparat show that I’m going to on Sunday (SO PSYCHED for this show!), but thought I’d test it out first. I took 1/2 a hit last night, (1/2 in case they cut it with lots of caffeine so I wouldn’t be up all night). It didn’t really do much; that is I didn’t feel anything… until this morning. This morning was the first morning that I’ve felt AWESOME in a long time! I was cheerful, optimistic, it was almost like being back to my old self only slightly better. Rock on, illicit drugs! If I could only get Blue Cross Blue Shield to cover it, I’d have life made in the shade!

Today I rode my bike from Charlestown to Davey m.f.ex-c-w’s house in Winthrop with him (you’re not allowed to take bikes on the train from 4:00 until 7:00 and his house is fairly far from the T station). It was a really nice, albeit long bike ride. The weather today was totally gorgeous (warm, sunny, in the high 70s), and even though Harvard Medical School still has their heat on so the buildings were so hot inside the hydrogen atoms were fusing into helium before my very eyes, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The ride took us by the harbor, over a sweet drawbridge, and through Eastie, which always smells like the ocean. We jammed with one of Dave’s buddies and played some Pixies songs as well as Journey (I sang). I feel like I’m actually evolving a little bit! I’ve levelled up from Embarrassingly-Shitty Bassist to Potentially-Mediocre Bassist!

On the way home dragging my bike and bass on the T, I was stuck walking down the corridor behind a bunch of loud indecisive tourists dragging large wheelie suitcases. They walked 5 abreast so it was impossible to get around them, and kept stopping because they didn’t know where they were going. When I had the opportunity, I went around them and then hoisted my bike up the stairs so I could get to the upper platform before the wandered around and blocked traffic again. Of course in my haste I managed to trip *up* the stairs somehow causing my bike to land on top of me. I have massive bruises all over my legs and they freaking HURT! Stupid tourists! They were here for a Sox game I think, judging from their loud conversation. I blame the stupid fucking Red Sox. Everything annoying is their fault! I hereby Reverse The Reversed Curse! I put the Curse back in Forward!

My newly upgraded computer no longer plays sound. I’m not sure what that’s about. It worked fine yesterday. Also, I installed Ad-Aware as well as Malware Removal so the spyware thing doesn’t happen again. I’ve found that they each find different things, so using them both is more effective than having just one. However, Ad-Aware keeps trying to get rid of Malware Removal because it thinks it is spyware. useful. I’m really sick of computer irritation! I suppose if I had just broken down and bought a legitimate computer that came fully made and loaded with Windoze already this may not have happened… but I’m cheap. Sue me. So, what am I going to do about the sound? I have no clue. I don’t want to think about it right now. However, the lack of sound is impeding my ability to watch Battlestar Galactica. I haven’t watched a single episode in at least a week, although this has been more due to my rigorous drinking schedule more than to computer faults.

I’ve been partying a little too hard lately, I think. Or rather, drinking too much. Jamming = drinking (I mean, what’s rock and roll without booze?) Also, there’s this bar right next to the warehouse called The Tavern at The End Of The World, which has become the traditional place to go after work. This will all change in 2 weeks, though, when I get my new job! I mean, Allston is convenient to many fine establishments that I used to frequent (the Silhouette, Model, Our House etc.), but I don’t think Nathan is quite old enough yet to be an after-work drinking buddy. We’ll wait until he hits 8 months old before we wean him off of one bottle and onto another one!

Oh yeah, i can’t completely cut the umbilical cord– I’ll still be working at Four Seasons 1/2 day on Tuesdays (my day off from nanny-ing) to take care of the plants in the Harvard Business School chapel. See all these plants?:

Yeah, that’s all me! This picture shows only about 1/4 of the plants, too! This place totally rocks, and I’ve been spending zillions of hours whipping it into shape. There are these nasty mutant mealy bugs that are going nuts there without any natural preditors, and I’m on a crusade to hunt down and kill them. Most mealybugs are tiny, the size of a pinhead or smaller. These ones, however, are almost as big as potato bugs. They are scary mofos!

So anyway, yeah. I’ll still be working in the plant care business, but in a very limited capacity!

May 21, 2009 at 4:24 am Leave a comment

Best Overheard Conversation of Today:

I was in this office building in the elevator, when 2 guys in dress shirts and nice slacks came in. They were maybe in their early 20s, clean-cut, one white dude (kinda cute) and an Asian dude (not bad looking either, in that yuppie kind of way) and each carrying a stack of boxes of printer toner cartridges.

Dude 1: what are these anyway?

Dude 2: they’re like… toners.

Dude 1: yeah, but… what do they *do*?

Dude 2: uh… TONE. Duh.

*several moments of silence*

Dude 1: yeah, but what do they like, TONE?

Dude 2: I don’t know, like pictures n stuff.

This completely cracked me up, I’m not sure why. I mean, this world is full of really dumb people, even really dumb people wearing nice buisness attire. However, I’m not used to people of this dumb magnitude trying to appear this buisness-like in a professional setting. it was just… hilarious. They continued their Dude-Where’s-My-Car like banter all the way through the lobby and out the door. This is not what you normally find in a building filled with financial companies… or is it? Maybe this is why the economy is in such a state– Bill and Ted are the ones responsible for your printers!

May 20, 2009 at 1:26 am Leave a comment

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