Secret Double Life (of a non-nerd)
I woke up this morning to find a large-ish piece of glass sticking out of my face. Where this glass came from, I have no clue. I think that I’m leading a double life– I’m obviously a spy whose brain gets erased after every mission and the glass is from when I smashed through a window while trying to catch onto an enemy helicopter. Or the cats could have broken something and tracked the glass onto the bed. But come on, really. How would a piece of glass get stuck to a cat and then deposited near my head? It’s only something a secret agent would wake up to!
I don’t think it had anything to do with the DATE I had last night. Yes, a date. I figured it couldn’t be any worse than the last one and if it was, then at least it would be epic, and give my internal monologue some entertaining fuel. My internal monologue has been kind of bland lately. The only interesting thing was the other day when I was in Harvard Square and saw this pre-teen goth chick wearing a shirt that said “I Heart Vampires” and a giant crucifix. I said, “aren’t you kind of sending mixed messages there?” She just gave me a really dirty look. My internal monologue should have stayed internal with that one. INSIDE VOICE! INSIDE VOICE!
So yeah, I had a date. It was enjoyable, can you believe it? Dude is on the level and we discussed things like Star Wars, mythology, the Indiana Jones trilogy (he said, “I wonder why they never made a 4th Indiana Jones movie?” oh be still my beating nerdy heart!), and never once did dehumidifiers come up (unlike the last date I had). After 2 hours at a coffee shop in Allston he said he had to get home because he hasn’t been sleeping well and he has to get up early for work tomorrow for a big project or something. I didn’t get so much as a handshake, just a “call me sometime” and that was it. Sounds like I got served. Alas. He seemed cool, too.
This got me thinking… maybe I’m *too* nerdy. I have been watching a heck of a lot of Robot Chicken lately. In making all the dollhouse furniture, I’ve been playing around with all my action figures a lot, which makes me ponder things like “Does Porkins [an extremely minor character in Star Wars] have a real name? Would he get along with Gwen Cooper [from Torchwood], with whom he is currently in a band? (he’s on guitar, Lando Calrissian on lead guitar, a purple robot on bass, Martha Jones on drums and Gwen Cooper on keyboards) Living alone means I watch a lot of movies and lately my movie fare has leaned toward the geeky side of the force (documentaries about electronic music, sci-fi). Maybe dudes don’t want to date chicks that remind them of their 10-year-old selves?
Because of this, I’m experimenting with being completely non-geeky for 24 hours, starting at sundown tonight. I will wear a nice twin set with pearls, not talk about anything sci-fi related, discuss things like the weather and (non-geeky) current events, and not watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer tomorrow while the baby’s taking a nap, which I’ve been kind of addicted to since I discovered that Jack & Laura have all 7 seasons of it on DVD. This also means no Torchwood or Robot Chicken tonight (I usually watch one of those before I go to bed. Hey, they give me weird kind of fun dreams!)
In overthinking this, though, I realize that eradicating every trace of nerdiness from my life will be difficult. For example, the ring tone on my phone is currently morse code for “artichoke.” Should I change it just for tomorrow? My bike has glow-in-th-deark stars and planets clipped to the spokes. I’d drive my car to work instead, except my car has stickers of robots and ray guns on the back. Geekiness permeates every aspect of my life! So, do I just go with things I can easily control, like what I talk about? Will I be like the vegetarians who don’t care if there’s lard in their cookies? Is this half-assing it? I’m not sure. All I know is that I looked damn cute last night, even if Mr. Date Dude didn’t think so (even if I was wearing a Batman t-shirt. It was a very cute Batman t-shirt!)
You know how I’m genetically pre-disposed to hate all shoes. I saw the first pair of shoes that I fell madly in love with since I was in 8th grade, so I bought them. They are red patent leather mary janes and they RULE! Angels wanna wear my red shoes. Totally. I wore those last night as well, adding to my overall cuteness. Basically, I rule. Why do people never see this?