The Lesson is…

September 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm Leave a comment

I went to the Stah Mahket the other day and bought a day-old loaf of French bread because it was cheap. I’m a big fan of day-old bread; probably because i’m a total cheapskate, but also because i like to think I’m eating something that will probably just go bad and get moldy and go to waste because people are too proud or tasteful or something to buy bakery rejects. Anyway…

I put the bread in my bike basket and drove to harvard Square to pick up the new Muse album. Somewhere along the way, the bread broke in half and was flopping all over the place. I tried to stuff both halves into the basket, but in the middle of the street, one half flopped out of the bag and landed in the middle of JFK street. What do I do? Do I leave a 1/2 loaf of bred in the street for pigeons or homeless people to risk their lives pecking at? no, I’m a frugal type, so I dodge traffic to run and pick it up. There aren’t even any noticeable pieces of dirt or other schmutz attached!

I am currently eating a ham and cheese sandwich made from the bread that spent 50 seconds lying in the road in front of Urban Outfitters. The fact that I risked getting mushed by an Escalade makes it taste that much better.

The lesson, children, is…

you can justify anything if you’re cheap enough.

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