So, I thought I was going to be on vacation this coming Sunday (a week from tomorrow). Guess again! Through the power of pulling me into the back room for a shaming/bitching out session sprinkled with a dusting of guilt tripping, I am working job #3 the week of Christmas. So, my 12-day work week just became a 16-day work week! That’s almost 1/2 this month without a day off. Great. Because we all know what a workaholic I am. (hahah I don’t think “me” and “workaholic” have ever been used in the same sentence before!)
Basically, I will pretty much do anything you say if you pull me into a back room or office and let me know how much I suck and how big a disappointment I am to humanity. Hey, it’s worked for every single boss I’ve had so far since I’ve moved to Boston! You have to let me go off and cry for 20 minutes (luckily today’s event took place right before my lunch break), but I will bend to your will, usually in no time at all. Sarah did it at Harvard to me several times a week, as did Edie in the Newbs office (who, after several years, is hopefully not lame enough to still be stalking my blog) and good ole PTG, who managed to get at least 2 20-minute “this is why you suck” lectures in a day towards the end.
It’s gotten so if anyone says “I need to talk to you” to me, no matter who it is, no matter what about, my heart immediately begins to race and I have the urge to flee. Being in the same small space with an authority figure with the door closed makes me pretty much want to die, and then I just hate myself later on for being such a wuss and being so lame as to merit the talking to in the first place. Why do I manage to always get myself into these situations? Then it escalates into the basic “I’m a loser, I have no life, I’m fat and ugly and have no friends and can’t do anything right” feeling. I just want to crawl under a rock. Of course, now my TMJ disorder is causing my ears to feel like someone is packing shards of broken glass into my brain which isn’t helping.
Memo to self: one job at a time is all I can handle.
Holy fucking Christ I can’t wait for this motherfucking year to be over.