I understand that I am stupid. Can I stop being punished now?
For the past several days I have been barfing with exciting episodes of digestive troubles that sway between diarrhea and constipation and sometimes both at once. “Impossible!” you say! No, it’s not. I’m not going to explain the mechanics of it right now in the interest of TMI, but suffice to day it’s extremely unpleasant. With all of this comes stomach aches and headaches.
What’s wrong with me?
I don’t have health insurance.
Argh. So because I don’t have insurance I have to get my drugs straight from the ghetto clinic again (this will only be possible for 28 days, then I’m screwed). Somehow along the line they got my prescription messed up and gave me a lower dose than I was taking. Because of this, I’m going through withdrawal, hence the digestive maladies– for some reason this drug wreaks havoc with my digestive system. Today was beautiful and sunny– a perfect biking day! I spent it inside because I felt too barfy to leave the house. I could call my doctor and have her call in another prescription, but I’m sure that would screw up my 28 day maximum. Plus, she’s doing a residency or whatever at the ghetto clinic and her time is pretty much up. It’s the time of year where I get a new shrink. I’ve had 5 or 6 so far. I should really get a stable, omnipresent, reliable shrink, but for some reason it’s impossible to find one in Boston who has spaces open for new patients. Besides, some of the insurance I’ve had in the past wasn’t taken by real reputable doctors.
I know this is all my fault. Had I paid better attention to the notice I got back in January I wouldn’t be in this situation. The state health insurance people found out about my part time gig at Newbury Comics and said I had some amount of time to prove that I was still making under $32k a year (the maximum allowed to qualify for the state health plan). I wrote them a note saying I only worked this part time job for 3 weeks and even so made $8 an hour, so it really didn’t affect my status in the least. They wrote back and said I needed to submit proof. I called and asked what. They said a tax return would work. Since it was the beginning of January, I hadn’t done my taxes yet, so I forgot about it. Then they cancelled my insurance. Yes, I know I was negligent and stupid and should have stayed on top of it all. So, a few weeks ago I submitted a form asking for a hearing to potentially reverse the decision. I have absolutely no idea when or if I will get a hearing; apparently you only hear about it 10 days before it’s going to happen. So, I re-applied for insurance. Of course this process will take like forever and meanwhile I will be barfing my guts out and probably being completely depressed because you’re not supposed to go cold turkey off these brain drugs (Wellbutrin & Zoloft).
I understand I screwed up! I am stupid! I suck! Now please, god of health insurance, expedite shit so I can stop feeling like crap all the time! I know you have tons of homeless pregnant teenage immigrants to deal with, but really. I had to go home early on Friday and I’m not feeling a whole lot better. This is going to affect my job performance which will ultimately make my income go down which means I will be in a lower bracket for health care and thus will pay less out of pocket and have more subsidized by the government. Speed shit up if you don’t want to have to pay more for my nauseous ass!