Archive for June, 2010

Adventures in Cuteness II

Oh yeah, I forgot another thing The Little Dude and I did today. Last week we went to the park where LD became seriously enamored with geese. Since “geese” sounds like the word he says that functions as “teeth,” “please” and “peas,” it fit in nicely to his vocabulary. Today, he started talking about geese (I think– he might have been talking about peas; had he been discussing teeth, he would have provided a visual clue and since nothing was being offered, I don’t think it was please). So I went to YouTube and pulled up some videos of geese. People are always videotaping wildlife and sticking their trips to the farm or wherever up on the innernets these days, so there was no shortage of footage of geese. LD was transfixed. i think we must have looked at 15 different videos in the space of 1/2 hour and still he wanted more. He was getting super sleepy, though, and it was nap time. During each video, he would point at the screen and say, very matter-of-factly, “Geese. Geese. Geese.,” just in case we forgot what we were watching. Sometimes if a goose did something particularly exciting (like fly, for example, that totally blew his baby mind since thus far we had only seen geese walking or swimming), he’d excitedly exclaim “GEESE! GEESE!” Once there was a video of people walking around a parking lot full of geese. The poor kid’s mind was blown wide open as he didn’t have enough breath to indicate that there were both geese AND cars (his other favorite thing to do is point out cars). GEESE! CAR! CAR! GEESE! CAR! I thought his head would explode.

June 30, 2010 at 3:12 am Leave a comment

Adventures in Cuteness

So last week the Little Dude was a demonic hellspawn. This week he is being insanely cute. Today we did all sorts of things to Timothy, his doll. Actually, Timothy began life as his mother’s doll– he’s a homemade Cabbage Patch Kid– but the Little Dude has wholeheartedly adopted him. Timothy has been wearing LD’s hat a lot (LD has a fixation with hats), and today he decided that perhaps Timothy had a stinky butt. He made the universal “Do I need to change the baby’s diaper?” sniffing sound while pulling at Timothy’s shorts. So I “changed” Timothy’s diaper (i.e., took off the bit of cut up t-shirt held in place with a safety pin and put it back on). When I did this, I noticed that Timothy has a really disturbing belly button. Now I have a problem with belly buttons in the first place, but this one is extra creepy– it’s a homemade attempt at an inny; it looks like a ragged sutured hole that one would find somewhere on Frankenstein’s monster. When I saw it, its hideousness took me by surprise; I waved my hands around in the air and went “BBLLLAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” LD thought this was hilarious, and thus for the rest of the day would drag Timothy over to me (conveniently by the hand-friendly curly hair), pull his shirt up and point at the irregularly stitched crater while waving one hand around and laughing. It would have been really funny (yes, even the 500th time) had the belly button not disturbed me so much!

Timothy also had some snacks in LD’s baby chair. however, LD discovered that food actually works better if you balance it on Timothy’s big glued-on nose, so Poor Tim had a large-ish chuck of string cheese balanced on his face for several hours.

divine on the divan
L to R: Timothy, Little Dude

LD also has this habit, when he’s angry or annoyed, or sometimes just for the sheer pleasure of it, makes this very satanic-sounding growling noise. When he’s pissed, it usually forms around the words “kaaaaaaa kaaaaaaa kaaaaaa” (“car car car”) and when he’s not pissed, it just comes out as a very possessed-sounding growl. Always looking for an opportunity for entertainment at the Little Dude’s expense, Rob & I taught him how to use the voice to say “REDRUM!” Now we can get him to growl out “REDRUM,” but in his mind, it sounds like “Rob Rob,” which is what he calls Rob. So, he’ll sometimes growl out “ROB ROB” or segue REDRUM into ROB ROB in a normal voice. It’s kind of hilarious that in his mind, the word for his adopted uncle is synonymous with “murder” backwards. He cracks me up.

June 29, 2010 at 11:23 pm 1 comment

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Protected: argh for the 1,000,000th time

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June 25, 2010 at 2:47 pm Enter your password to view comments.

This week needs to bite me (and then get a time out)

In the USA we start the week with Sunday, so I’ll begin there. I had made a plan to go to Lil’ Bitch’s house and we were going to check out a new ice cream place. I sent him an email asking when I should come over. I also called him. I got no reply. Now I know that he doesn’t get cellphone reception in his apartment. However, would it have killed him to walk 2 blocks so he did and tell me not to come over? Also, he now has the innernets in his apartment, so he could have emailed me back. Thus I spent all Sunday waiting around for him. When I got fed up, around 3 or 4, I called up Terrence to see if he wanted to do some porch drinking because it was a good day for such an activity. He said sure (when is he ever not up for drinking?), but he had an errand to run and he’d call me when he got back. Of course he never did. So I spent all day waiting for stupid dudes.

Oh yeah, insurance. It turns out that I didn’t need to wait for a hearing, nor did I need to re-apply. All I need to do is fax a copy of my pay stub to some insurance office. For some reason, they had me down as working at Newbury Comics, but not for Jack and Laura anymore. WTF? It took me long enough to find this out, too. I had to be on hold like 15 different times by cranky people and be transferred to 10 different robots before I got an actual person. Her name was Tawneesha and she freaking RULED. She was nice and she gave me information that was actually useful! However, I still don’t have insurance and my emergency supply of drugs that I got from Lil Bitch’s ex will run out in 2 days.

The kid has been a little hellspawned demon all week, too. He is ten times clingier than usual. He won’t let me do anything that means I am not giving him my 100% undivided attention. However, if I stop, say, reading a book or sitting more than 3 feet away from him and play with him, all he wants to do is bite, pinch, scratch and hit me. He’s not allowed to do these things; each infraction results in a 5-minute time out. Or rather, 5 minutes of him screaming bloody murder until I let him out of the playpen. At this point, he is PISSED and what does he do when he’s pissed? He scratches, hits, pinches and bites of course! Thus the cycle repeats itself. Today he smacked me really hard in the eye with a tupperware container. It did not tickle. Monday he wanted to go outside, but when I took him outside it was too hot and he wanted to go back in. Of course, once inside he got bored and wanted to go back out. Today he took pleasure in earnestly requesting peas (his favorite food of the moment is frozen peas which he even sprinkled on his oatmeal this morning) and then making eye contact, smiling, and dramatically dumping them all over the floor. He’s also falsely been reporting stinky diapers and biting not hard enough to be a real bite, just enough so he can look at me and see what I’m going to do about it. He has been similarly testing me with pinching. I just feel like no matter what I do, I am the enemy. I know the kid is barely a year and a half old, and that’s what kids that age do, but I don’t like feeling like I’m the evil arch-nemesis who must be defeated at all costs. I’ve tried many different approaches to no avail.

I’m roasting right now because the baby next door was crying all evening and it was setting off my baby-alert system so much I had to close the window so I didn’t hear it! I have 3 brains cells whose only function it is to listen for the sound of an unhappy baby in another room (i.e., waking up from a nap, getting into trouble) and I can’t turn them off. They got enough of a workout today with the Little Dude as unhappiness was his main mode, and my brain cells were just tuckered out and my nerves were on edge! I feel bad that he’s so cranky and miserable all the time. I mean, it’s my job to keep him happy. When he’s being an antagonistic little bastard, not only is it kind of irritating, but I also feel like I’m failing as a care-giver (side note: why are caregivers and caretakers pretty much the same thing?)!

We went to the park today and he got really excited about the geese that were hanging out there. “Geese” is a word he can say. He can say 4 words besides “mama” and “dada”, but 2 of them can mean myriad different things (“up” can only mean “up”. “Ka” for “car” usually means only “car,” but when he’s happy he shrieks “ka ka ka!” and when he’s pissed, he growls “kaaaa kaaaaa kaaaaa”)The one that sounds sort of like “Deesh” or “Jish” can be: this, fish, cheese, juice, shoes, toast, toes, sheep, and dish (I think he’s saying “dish”– he likes to play in the dishwasher, maybe that’s where he picked up “dish?” he kept picking up a bowl and saying that). The other word “ees” can be: teeth, please and peas. Now it includes “geese”! Everything with wings was “geese” today– it was cute.

I suppose my week hasn’t been a total loss so far. Monday was hot and sticky and gross, so when I got home from work I put on my bathing suit, got a plate of grapes mixed up a seabreeze and lolled in the pool with my library book. It was freaking AWESOME!

However, my house is so disgusting I can barely stand being in it. It’s really gross in here. It’s so bad that every time I try to clean it I just get discouraged so it just gets worse. Really, it’s like a crazy person lives here. this is the kind of house where you find old ladies who have been dead for a month with cats chewing on their corpses. And speaking of cats, stupid fucking Morrissey has taken to peeing on everything. WTF? I changed cat litters– I got the eco-friendly kind that’s made of pine chips that’s more absorbent than the normal kind. Apparently it’s unacceptable. Grrr.

June 23, 2010 at 2:44 am Leave a comment

Yay Futureheads!

It’s June, and this is the first show I’ve been to this year. Is it really? I’m checking my calendar. Yup. That’s kind of pathetic. However, it was worth the concert celibacy because the Futureheads RULED!!!! Damn I love that band; I have for years. They’re the kind of band that art students and the snottier Anglophile indie rock nerds loved when they first came out… but the love of these types is always fickle and thus the hype died down once they were no longer new and shiny. I, however, bought their second, third and fourth albums which all are pretty sweet. I bought their latest one on Friday and listened to it non-stop all weekend so I’d know some of their new songs. These guys are really funny! They have a lot of goofy little conversations and anecdotes in between songs. Plus they have a lot of energy and it’s contagious. This is a good thing when you’re performing live! They got the fairly typically stoic Boston crowd clapping and singing along. I remember the last time they were in town (4 years ago?) I was too poor to afford to make the show; I still wish I had gone. However, I’m sure this show more than made up for it! They played “Robot” as the second song; that’s my favorite! I also love their cover of “Hounds of Love”– it’s one of the few covers that I like better than the original.

June 9, 2010 at 3:43 am Leave a comment

Robert Downey Jr: I’d still hit it

There are very few people I was madly in love with when I was 15 that I’d still consider hittin’ it with. Of course, I had notoriously bad taste in men when I was 15– remember I was dating Todd “Christmas was a bad investment for me” M. Who else… Simon LeBon? No. definitely not still on the hittin’ it list. The dudes from the Thompson Twins? Mmmmmmmaybe. Unlikely. Stuart Adamson? Well, he’s dead (RIP). River Phoenix? Also dead. Robert Downey Jr., however, is still in my top 10. I just saw Iron Man 2 which was pretty cool if you like stuff blowing up (like I do). I think anyone else in the lead role would have made this movie lame and predictable. Yes, RD Jr. is awesome in every movie, even that one about the town that got flooded and had the psycho killer appear whenever they played the Andrews Sisters. What was that? Oh yeah, In Dreams. Holy crap, Neil Jordan directed that! Anyway, not the greatest film on earth, but would have been 1,000 times lamer had Robert Downey Jr. not been in it. Only You was kind of a lame cutesy fluffy film, but it had strangely more depth with RDJ. So there you have it… 22 years later he’s still awesome.

June 7, 2010 at 5:14 am Leave a comment


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