My Body is a Jerk

August 22, 2010 at 12:42 pm Leave a comment

Sometimes I hate my body. Most often when a chick says such a thing, it means she thinks she’s too fat, or her boobs are too small/large whatever. I personally don’t care that much about that sort of stuff, especially this week. I hate my body because it is rebelling against me and seems to be doing whatever it can to make my normal slackerish self even less productive. I know this is mostly psycho-somatic and stuff, but it’s really annoying. I mean, I can’t freaking breathe in this apartment. Literally. It feels like there’s a fat cat sitting on my lungs and I can’t get any breath in or out. I keep hacking up this nasty tasting stuff that is clear, but tastes like a cross between seaweed and pickled herring. And not in a good way (I love seaweed and pickled herring, but not when it’s essence is being hacked from my respiratory system). I tried to neti pot out my nasal cavity which is an awesome thing, though it sounds gross if you’ve never done it (pour warm brackish water in one nostril up through your sinuses out the other), but I can’t get it to work since my nasal passages are way too clogged up (I tried for an hour doing all sorts of things to loosen up the snot to no avail). Plus today my stomach is hurting too. I can’t think of what I can eat to make it chill out because the thought of food is slightly nauseating right now.

I always saw humanity as being full of two kinds of people, those who see their brains as being there to tell them how to take care of their bodies (athletes, fitness enthusiasts, pretty much all the students on my trip to Ireland except moi) and nerds, who think that their body is there to be a kind of unreliable limo to chauffeur their brains around. I know that there is a happy medium, but I’ve always taken my good health for granted. I am generally a healthy person and always have been! It’s just that every now and then my 80 zillion petty little annoying largely unfixable problems (i.e., allergies, IBS, TMJ whatever) start ganging up on me and conspire to make me even less productive than my normally fairly lackadaisical self can be.

Basically, I need to finish packing up my stupid apartment so I can move today! I went over to the new place yesterday to paint and the lack of subterranean mold and suburban vegetation made it so I can breathe beautifully! However, back in North Cambridge I would like to get some boxes packed, but would settle for just being able to inhale some oxygen and exhale some CO2 without having to think about it.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS STUPID MOVE TO BE OVER!

Oh, and in other news, I actually went on a date the other day. The dude actually seems pretty cool! We seem to have similar opinions on many things that nerds hold dear. I’m waiting to discover that he’s actually a robot sent to infiltrate the planet and the date was actually him harvesting some of my less useful organs and then erasing my memory.

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Entry filed under: health, un/spinsterhood, whine.

Alas, poor grocery store World Travels, Part Two

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