Gladys Messerschmidt is Pissing Me Off.

November 18, 2010 at 5:32 pm 3 comments

I’ve been getting emails from Gladys Messerschmidt for a couple of years now. They are always the “Inspirational” variety of schlock that one would expect from an elderly person who has just enough technical skills to hit “forward” on her AOL email program. I think she thinks I’m her friend Dot Dosch (my email address is dotdash after a Wire song), and in the past, I have tried to politely let her know that if she thinks Dot is getting her invitations to, say, garage sales and stuff, she’s not. My original intention was to eliminate any tension between Dot and Gladys, lest Gladys think that Dot is ignoring her pleas to visit certain fundraisers or send emails back so the sender knows exactly how much Dot thinks Jesus is awesome or whatever else. However, my emails go largely ignored, except for one that was sent by Edith, a crony of Gladys’s. (see this old post)

Today’s email (OK one of many of today’s email since I get like 5 of these a day) just kind of pissed me off. Here it is:

gladys fence

Which side of the fence?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he’s “offended”.

Well, I forwarded it. Will you?

My original feeling was that “OK, I’m going to tell Gladys in no uncertain terms to freaking take me off her stupid email list once and for all!” But then i realized that that is exactly what the email predicted.

WTF?

Yes, I’m kind of offended by this email, but not because of what it says. It’s not because I don’t have a sense of humor about things, it’s just because it’s STUPID STUPID STUPID!! Instead, I think I’m going to re-write it.

sensationalist
(note the sensationalist imagery invoking Hitler! Glenn Beck would be so proud!!!)

Which side of the fence?
If you ever wondered how you can eliminate subtle nuances and see the world in simple black and white, this is a great test!

If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he still thinks it’s ok for everyone to own an AK-47.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he would appreciate it if he didn’t get shot for no reason.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he probably belongs to some weird cult.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, it’s probably because he grew up too white and middle class.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life in the closet and solicits strangers only in airport bathrooms.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he thinks it might be a good idea if teenagers stopped committing suicide over it.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he blames it on Democrats, Socialism and black people.
A Democrat tries to spread the wealth around so poor people don’t take the biggest hit.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he shoots his TV.
Democrats roll their eyes and make fun of FOX news, but acknowledge that the First Amendment covers lame stuff too.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he lives quietly in the closet, but goes through the motions for the family on holidays.
A Democrat non-believer grows weary of religion getting shoved down his throat.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he bitches about how Michael Moore is a Socialist.
A Democrat thinks maybe poor people shouldn’t have worse health care than rich people.

If a Republican reads this, he’ll compare the sender to Hitler.
A Democrat will delete it because he’s sick of people sending stupid pointless emails all the time.

Well, I rolled my eyes. Will you?

Advertisements

Entry filed under: current events.

Going Stir Crazy Music Music Music

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Patty  |  November 18, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    SEND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • 2. Selkie  |  November 19, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    Send it!

    And also- a key difference is… a Republican believes… a Democrat thinks.

    Reply
  • 3. Krista  |  November 21, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Stop being Hitler!!111

    j/k

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Calendar

November 2010
M T W T F S S
« Oct   Dec »
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930  

Most Recent Posts


%d bloggers like this: