Why it might be good for American culture if Sarah Palin were president

November 11, 2012 at 2:05 am Leave a comment

I’m not saying Sarah Palin would make a good president. In fact, she is such an incompetent stooge, the country might explode if she were to actually decree anything, and I’m sure some other nation would nuke us just to put us out of our misery the second she attempted any kind of foreign policy.

HOWEVER, it may be good for culture as a whole to see a woman in charge. Why not a competent, intelligent woman, like Hillary Clinton or Elizabeth Warren? Because they are liberals, and no matter how much Fox News bitches about things, the whole myth of the liberal bias in the media is bullshit. Also: nobody likes smart people. Smart people are a threat to America. In short, although they would probably be awesome for the country, they would get torn to shreds by the media. Hillary already got ripped apart as the First Lady, she doesn’t need every media eye on her 24/7 nitpicking her hairstyles or fashion statements anymore. Hillary hating was the national pasttime for a while.

But, if the person in charge were Sarah Palin, the media would probably not focus on what a bitch she was, how fat she was, how she’s spending Our Tax Dollars™ on haircuts or whatever. Whenever a woman has any position of authority, you always start hearing about what a “bitch” she is to her employees or whatever. You’ve heard the stories– how Martha Stewart punched some lackey for a random petty reason, or how Barbra Streisand threw a hissy fit because of whatever. There were even stories going around about how Mother Teresa was a giant asshole to her underlings. Nobody cares if, say, Rupert Murdoch or Newt Gingrich are dicks to their employees; somehow women are supposed to get ahead by being *nice*. RIGHT. Anyway, I always saw these stories as grasping at straws, trying to discredit women when you can’t think of anything else.

That’s why Sarah Palin would be good for the culture as the First Woman President. Fox News wouldn’t feel the need to constantly dis on her for small petty reasons.  They would actually have to praise her, uterus and all! I don’t think sexist jerks would ever think that a woman is doing a good job, but at least conservative sexist jerks would try to give her a chance. She would be out there preaching to the masses about how them gays were going to hell and stuff and dragging the country with them, and rich old white guys couldn’t really disagree. Maybe they’d even have a molecule more respect for women that do a Man’s Job.

Sure, Miss Alaska would set women’s rights back decades for the already converted, but maybe she would make a small modicum of difference for hard-liners.

I would probably sooner shoot off my own kneecaps than vote for her, but if we had to have a Republican in office, maybe it would be better to be her in all her creepy reactionary incompetence than some rich old white dude who hates women AND doesn’t happen to be one.

Or, we could just wait for all the old people to die off. Studies have shown that people of my generation and younger are less religious, homophobic, sexist and racist. Maybe we should just send all the old people to death camps when they turn 70. I know that would save a lot on Medicare, which apparently is draining the system, if you listen to conservatives.

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