The nice thing about Republicans

The awesome thing about Republicans is that you don’t have to hear their birth stories. For some reason, liberals seem obsessed with getting their fetuses into this world in the most high maintenance ways possible and making sure to tell you every detail.

Republicans who spawn, sure they’ll tell you how much the kid cries, eats, shits, sleeps etc. That’s what people do when they have babies. They don’t, however, tell you about their birth tubs, midwives, doulas, decisions to eat or freeze or taxidermize or whatever the kid’s placenta or what music they had playing to welcome the fruit of their loins into the world. Thanks to liberals, I now know way too much about the process of squeezing a squalling mass of fragile sleep deprivation through one’s genitals. Hey gals, you don’t care what happens in or around my vagina, why should I care about yours?