The Hand Turkey: The Most American Symbol Around

December 2, 2013 at 3:38 am Leave a comment

What makes America great? Some people would say ingenuity; what other country has this many inventors and uh… stuff. At least that’s what I’ve heard people say. Opportunity, that’s another one. However, in today’s economic climate, there are fewer opportunities than ever. The gap between the rich and the poor is greater than ever; upward mobility is kind of a joke. For a lot of people, American symbols, such as the flag and the eagle represent jingoism and knee-jerk patriotism. As a person raised in the Reagan era, these things represented the lies that came with selling arms to our enemies in order to fund a fascist regime, the CIA selling cocaine and all sorts of shady stuff. What other symbols are out there? Uncle Sam? Great, another old white guy representing the country. The Statue of Liberty? Well, aside from the fact that it gets destroyed in every other science fiction movie, I guess that one’s OK.

To me, what represents America is the hand turkey. OK ok, Thanksgiving is not everything it’s cracked up to be, what with Native American genocide and all that. I’m not here to argue whether or not we should be celebrating that. All I’m saying is that the hand turkey is awesome– pretty much every single kid in America was forced to make one at some point in their youth, regardless of race, creed, socio-economic status or anything else. It’s a crafty exercise that anyone can do, no matter how artistically challenged they are. I suppose it may discriminate against double amputees, but… uh… still. I stand by my assertion that the hand turkey is the awesomest American symbol out there. So there.

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