Archive for September, 2016
While trying to figure out my digestive problems, a chain of events led to me having an ultrasound that discovered my uterus is all stuffed full of fibroid tumors. The largest 2 are 8cm and 5cm, but there are some others as well. I was kind of hoping they would give me a print out so I could put it on my refrigerator or use as a Facebook profile picture or something, just to be weird. These fibroids aren’t causing many symptoms, but I can feel weird pressure when I’m lying down. Mostly they just make me have to pee a lot, and may contribute to my long-lasting periods and spotting. It’s not a huge deal, and it’s been going on for years, so the doctor’s recommendation was to just ignore them.
However, because my uterus is filled with fibroids the size of oranges, it’s getting all stretched out and warped into a weird shape. Because of this, I can’t get my tubes tied. Nor can I get an IUD. I already can’t use hormonal birth control because I’m too old and fat (doctors won’t prescribe it).
Most of the people I know who have tried to get knocked up around my age have had major problems and had to resort to IVF and other methods. So… do I even need birth control? Fibroids are supposed to make it more difficult to get knocked up. I’m old. Is pregnancy even an issue? However, every time I ask about percent risk of pregnancy as a 43 year old with fibroids (which can hinder pregnancy), people just give me anecdotal evidence like “my aunt had accidental quintuplets when she was 80” etc. Internet message boards are full of advice like DON’T BE A CARELESS WHORE WHO HAS TO GET AN ABORTION! Doctors don’t ever want to say “no, don’t use birth control” lest you find yourself in a family way and blame them. If I search the internet, I just find sites geared towards 40-somethings who are trying to get pregnant and take on the “it’s not impossible! Keep trying and you’ll get your miracle baby!” tone of voice, which is not helpful since I am concerned with the opposite outcome.
So what are the actual chances of a person with fibroids getting pregnant at age 43? I have never been pregnant before, so that makes my chances a little lower (I vaguely remember reading somewhere that when you are pregnant, your body doesn’t release eggs, so you have more of them later. if you never get pregnant, your body is constantly losing its eggs). Also, the supplier of the sperm is 54, and dudes’ sperm count *does* go down with age. Is there some kind of probability engine I can plug this into? It’s hard to find decent information, because nobody wants to be the one to say SORRY, OLD TIMER. YOU WILL NEVER FULFILL YOUR ULTIMATE PURPOSE AND SPAWN.
Seriously. Do a search. All the sites I’ve found are either the “you can do it! It’s not impossible to have a miracle baby” variety, the “Guess what? women over 40 are still allowed to have sex. Here are your birth control options” the “don’t be a stupid whore who makes bad choices– I know [person] who had [x] kids in her [advanced age range]” tone. Where is actual information? Does this information exist? People must have studied fertility rates in older women because fertility sites are always talking about them.
So, let’s re-cap:
- I am going to be 44 in 3 months.
- I have never been pregnant
- I have a womb stuffed full of fairly large fibroid tumors
- I am moderately fat
- The sperm provider is 54
- He is a vegan
TL;DR: I am old and don’t want to get knocked up, but birth control options and information is limited.
I get it. It’s a rock and a hard place. Trump is the Scylla, and Hillary is the Charybdis. You hate them both. You wanted Bernie Sanders, and now that he’s out, you’re taking your toys and going home. The game is rigged, and your little slingshot is no match for the Goliath that is American Politics.
But the next time I hear the phrase “Hillary is WORSE than Trump,” I’m gonna have to start pulling the tab on my can of whoop-ass. On what planet is *anyone* worse than Trump? I would vote for my cat before I voted for Trump! My cat’s main hobbies include sleeping and barfing up hairballs, 2 things that would probably be more beneficial to this country than a Trump presidency. Never mind that he’s loud, annoying, brash, rude and has bad hair. Let’s focus on things he says.
Let’s break it down:
- Trump is pretty racist, and not shy about letting the world know it.
- Trump thinks nothing of committing war crimes.
- He is not great about being pro-choice, if he is, he considers pandering to pro-lifers more important than defending abortion.
- He wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act. I mean, Obamacare is not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.
- He thinks climate change is a hoax, and wants to do away with the EPA.
- He wants to also do away with the Department of Education and put more funding into (for-profit) charter schools.
- He wants to appoint Supreme Court justices who are “as close to Scalia as [he] can find.”
Hillary is not my favorite candidate ever, but I will give her credit where credit is due. She is pro-choice. She believes in climate change.
Listen, no candidate is perfect. No candidate will *ever* be perfect because he or she has to appeal to a large amount of people which automatically means ::boring::
Voting is not an exercise of personal expression. The point of voting is not to make some kind of statement of sticking it to The Man or whoever. Nobody cares about your write-in candidate. Your write-in vote is just helping whoever wins a tiny bit. Nobody is going to sit down and say “hmm. 90 people wrote in a vote for Mickey Mouse. What is it about Mickey Mouse that appeals to these people?”
BUT DEMOCRATS ARE BULLLLLLLLYING MEEEEEEE! you cry. Those big, bad Democrats are trying to scare me into thinking that the world will end if I don’t vote for lying, cheating, corporate whore Hillary! It’s not myyyyy fault if Trump wins, it’s the fault of the Democratic party for not giving me my customized choice of perfect candidate for office! Why should I listen to those big meanies who are invalidating my awesome opinions?
Because the president of the United States isn’t your personal mascot, that’s why. This isn’t about YOU. Voting is a strategic decision for the benefit or harm of the NATION. The office of the president is going to be there whether you like who is sitting in it or not. The president is the person who represents this country, the one who sits down at the table with the leaders of other countries to decide who is going to get bombed and when. The President is the one who gets to enforce or ignore the mediocre changes outlined in non-binding environmental treaties, and I would at least like someone sitting at the table who believes that climate change exists.
I want a president who really believes that climate change exists. Period. I also want a president who believes in LGBT rights and racial equality. Voting for Jill Stein or Gary Johnson may make you feel like the special snowflake you truly believe you are because you didn’t “sell out” or whatever, but it won’t do anything to protect the planet or the rights of minorities. Voting for the president isn’t like finding the perfect wallpaper for your iPhone– you only have two choices. Everything else is just noise. “but we need a better candidate! What is this, the Soviet Union?” No shit we need better candidates. The 2-party system is bullshit, but that’s what we’ve had for the entirety of our lifetimes so suck it up and deal. You know the way to make a viable 3rd party? Vote for 3rd parties in local elections. Volunteer for a local 3rd party candidate’s campaign, heck, you could even run for a local election under a 3rd party. You can’t change the system from the top down, you need to nurture and grow the seeds of change, or some metaphorical crap like that.
Hillary is not my idea of the perfect candidate, but I will vote for her. Do it for the current Supreme Court, if nothing else! The Notorious RBG is 83. Anthony Kennedy is 80. Stephen Breyer is 77. Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas are both in their mid-late 60s, which would put them at retirement age for most normal jobs. There is already one vacant seat because @#%@$ Mitch McConnell won’t approve Obama’s pick. So, the next president will *definitely* get to appoint at least one Justice. This person will be a justice for an average of 26.1 years. That is somewhat longer than a generation. If Trump gets elected, and appoints someone “close to Scalia,” here’s a small sampling of what you get:
1. calls to overturn Roe v. Wade, generally anti-abortion
2. Anti- gay rights, gay marriage
3. Pro Citizen’s United
The Supreme Court is important, and will be around long after whoever gets elected president this November is around. Clinton’s possible Supreme Court Justice wish list looks a lot better than Trump’s.
So, you think Hillary is a crook, and Hillary lies or she’s a corporate shill war monger or whatever. Probably nothing I could say would make you change your mind about that, so I’ll leave this article here saying that she *is* for a lot of good stuff.
So even if you don’t like Hillary, you think she’s shrill and corrupt, and a liar (even though many of these allegations are totally blown out of proportion), vote for the Supreme Court Justice who will shape not only your life, but the lives of your descendants.
If women got pregnant from washing dishes, and not from having sex (ooh, horrors!), abortion wouldn’t even be a debate. Once you bring sex into the equation, all rational thoughts are off the table because Oooh slutty women are stupid! We have to tell them how to behave! Honestly, abortion/birth control/abstinence/whatever is a personal decision and none of my business. If these hypothetical women who get 100 abortions a month stopped having sex altogether, they’d be frigid bitches in the eyes of society, and therefore less than human. The way to be an “acceptable” woman in this society is such a narrow path, I try to refrain from making judgments. Women spending all the taxpayers’ money on abortions! Oooh how terrible! Women spending all their own money on abortions! Oooh how terrible! Women spending their own money on going to NASCAR rallies and buying Twinkies! Oooh how terrible! Poor women keep having babies they can’t afford! Ooh how terrible! The government spent my hard earned tax dollars on subsidies for billion dollar corporations, yet we get all worked up about the hypothetical pennies spent on women. Oh no! We’re gonna have to pay for bitches’ birth control thanks to the ACA! Thanks, Obama! I don’t want my hard earned money to be set on fire so chix can be sluts! But wait, what’s the best preventative measure of abortion? That would be birth control. (for the record, you can’t use federal money for abortions in most states, though insurance covers Viagra, and nobody seems to have a problem with that.) Also, why should I have to pay for some stupid guy’s testicular cancer treatment? I will never have testicular cancer. Why should my hard earned tax dollars go to some dumb dick’s ‘nads?
1. how many abortions one gets
2. how “necessary” it is [i.e., was the embryo conceived happily in wedlock, but is medically defective for some reason? Is the woman’s life in danger? Is the prospect of motherhood just inconvenient for whatever reason?]
3. how one pays for said abortion
4. The circumstances of the conception [was the embryo created after a night of drunken debauchery in a barn? Was the woman raped by a stranger in an alley?]
are NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
Abortion is legal in the USA, and none of the above gives anyone more or less right to one.
Theft is illegal in the USA, yet nobody cares about circumstances of theft.
1. how many other people has the thief robbed?
2. is the thief just robbing to feed his or her starving children, or because he or she just likes that Rolex the victim was wearing?
3. what precautions did the victim take to ensure she was not robbed of her watch?
All irrelevant. Theft is still illegal.
On another note: why is there no male birth control widely available except condoms (which guys say they hate)?
Further note: I have proverbially “kept my knees together” (i.e., never been pregnant, never been a drain on taxpayers’ money to feed out of wedlock children) yet I am a selfish evil bitch because I don’t want to ever reproduce. Go figure. You can’t win. Stop judging.