The Internet: where is the information?
While trying to figure out my digestive problems, a chain of events led to me having an ultrasound that discovered my uterus is all stuffed full of fibroid tumors. The largest 2 are 8cm and 5cm, but there are some others as well. I was kind of hoping they would give me a print out so I could put it on my refrigerator or use as a Facebook profile picture or something, just to be weird. These fibroids aren’t causing many symptoms, but I can feel weird pressure when I’m lying down. Mostly they just make me have to pee a lot, and may contribute to my long-lasting periods and spotting. It’s not a huge deal, and it’s been going on for years, so the doctor’s recommendation was to just ignore them.
However, because my uterus is filled with fibroids the size of oranges, it’s getting all stretched out and warped into a weird shape. Because of this, I can’t get my tubes tied. Nor can I get an IUD. I already can’t use hormonal birth control because I’m too old and fat (doctors won’t prescribe it).
Most of the people I know who have tried to get knocked up around my age have had major problems and had to resort to IVF and other methods. So… do I even need birth control? Fibroids are supposed to make it more difficult to get knocked up. I’m old. Is pregnancy even an issue? However, every time I ask about percent risk of pregnancy as a 43 year old with fibroids (which can hinder pregnancy), people just give me anecdotal evidence like “my aunt had accidental quintuplets when she was 80” etc. Internet message boards are full of advice like DON’T BE A CARELESS WHORE WHO HAS TO GET AN ABORTION! Doctors don’t ever want to say “no, don’t use birth control” lest you find yourself in a family way and blame them. If I search the internet, I just find sites geared towards 40-somethings who are trying to get pregnant and take on the “it’s not impossible! Keep trying and you’ll get your miracle baby!” tone of voice, which is not helpful since I am concerned with the opposite outcome.
So what are the actual chances of a person with fibroids getting pregnant at age 43? I have never been pregnant before, so that makes my chances a little lower (I vaguely remember reading somewhere that when you are pregnant, your body doesn’t release eggs, so you have more of them later. if you never get pregnant, your body is constantly losing its eggs). Also, the supplier of the sperm is 54, and dudes’ sperm count *does* go down with age. Is there some kind of probability engine I can plug this into? It’s hard to find decent information, because nobody wants to be the one to say SORRY, OLD TIMER. YOU WILL NEVER FULFILL YOUR ULTIMATE PURPOSE AND SPAWN.
Seriously. Do a search. All the sites I’ve found are either the “you can do it! It’s not impossible to have a miracle baby” variety, the “Guess what? women over 40 are still allowed to have sex. Here are your birth control options” the “don’t be a stupid whore who makes bad choices– I know [person] who had [x] kids in her [advanced age range]” tone. Where is actual information? Does this information exist? People must have studied fertility rates in older women because fertility sites are always talking about them.
So, let’s re-cap:
- I am going to be 44 in 3 months.
- I have never been pregnant
- I have a womb stuffed full of fairly large fibroid tumors
- I am moderately fat
- The sperm provider is 54
- He is a vegan
TL;DR: I am old and don’t want to get knocked up, but birth control options and information is limited.