Posts filed under ‘artsy stuff’

2 Movie Day!

I was feeling kind of sad and lonely today. I don’t know why; I just get like this. Perhaps it has something to do with my so-called boyfriend and how I’ve seen him for a total of about 4 hours in the past 3 weeks. Funny, the last one did that too. I got to thinking– what is it about me that makes dudes want to completely ignore me all the time? I’m not that annoying, I don’t think. At least, *I* don’t find myself that annoying. I think I’m pretty awesome, to tell you the truth. Anyway, the few men on earth who don’t find me completely repulsive end up avoiding me for weeks on end. WTF?

So because of this I went to see a movie. I saw Where The Wild Things Are. Here’s a word of advice: if you’re feeling lonely and a little down, and feel like nobody listens to you and the world is a sucky place: DON’T SEE THIS MOVIE!! I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked it a lot. It was awesome. however, I found it to be a totally harrowing and painful nihilistic downer. It’s about Max, a lonely boy with a busy divorced mother who feels like nobody pays attention to him. He “acts out” and annoys his mother. He finds a boat and sails to Where The Wild Things Are. The Wild Things are a commune of giant neurotic child-like beasts who are in the midst of all sorts of interpersonal strife. They think Max can help them. In the end, he just ends up making everything worse. The End. The Wild Things were like watching a gigantic hairy family reunion complete with cranky old Jews (two of the Wild Things were a couple named Ira and Judith), gross failures in communication, tears, fighting and various shades of awkward silence. My family doesn’t actually ever have Wild Rumpuses, but perhaps I should introduce one!

When I got home, the last thing I wanted to do was work on my stupid vampire novel (yes, I’m participating in National Novel Writing Month), so I went and saw another movie: 2012. It was long, and had kind of boring stretches, but basically was the Disaster Movie To End All Disaster Movies. There was fire! There were volcanoes! There were earthquakes! There was stuff blowing up! There were airplanes in peril! There were tsunamis and flooding! The special effects were super awesome. The plot was thin and peppered with feel-good moments like any good disaster should have. Plus, in the end it turned out that after they saved all these rich people and heads of state, the only place on earth that wasn’t destroyed by the flood waters was Africa, so everyone could go happily live there. Awesome.

November 23, 2009 at 6:22 am Leave a comment

Reality is Creepier than Fiction

I’ve seen a lot of scary movies. I’ve seen genuinely creepy movies. For example, The Blair Witch Project was one of the scariest movies I’d seen. I saw it right after it was released, well before the backlash started. Seriously, that film broke new ground in suspense! I’ve seen films by David Cronenberg, Dario Argento, all sorts of slasher movies, creepy Japanese movies etc…

Nothing has disturbed me as much as the Planet Earth series. Here’s a scene:

We’re in caves in Borneo or Papua New Guinea or someplace. The caves are dark, so no vegetation can grow. The only nourishing thing there is bat poop. 100 meter high piles of bat poop. Who lives on the mountains of poo? Cockroaches! Millions of them! Millions of them swarm on the piles… and one bat falls into the pile accidentally and the roaches swarm around him and eat him alive. ::EEEEEEESSSHHHHH::: I’m getting creepy goosebumps!

Somehow it’s all the more sinister with David Attenborough narrating. You can do the Dracula voice, you can intone like the rednecks in Deliverance, there is nothing scarier than a really uptight British accent. It’s the voice of ultimate “we’re lying to you to make you think everything’s OK” Maybe I read 1984 too many times. I could probably chalk it up to watching too much Doctor Who as a child, where all the evil villains in space were trained in Shakespearean acting. I don’t know, the way he rolls the “r’s” in “cockroach” makes my skin crawl.

dave
The Voice Of My Nightmares

Another thing that makes me shiver when I think about it is the bit on cordyceps. Cordyceps are a type of fungus that gets inside insects, controls their brains and then grows mushrooms on them from the inside out. This was all shown in exquisite detail with time-lapse photography.

I’ve always had a problem with dead bugs for some reason. When I was a kid, I really didn’t care one way or the other about living bugs, but insect corpses freaked the crap out of me. i remember seeing a bunch of dead wasps in my grandmother’s dusty back room and screaming and running away and not wanting to go into that room forever (which was painful since it was the room where she stored all her antiques and dusty boxes of random stuff that called me to explore them). The cicada shells you find on trees still freak me the fuck out. However, I haven’t had a bug corpse incident in a long time; I didn’t even remember that I had a problem with dead bugs until I saw this episode! Don’t you love it when something triggers your childhood fears and gives you nightmares? Let’s hear it for the subconscious!


Note how this segment start with ants. I HATE ANTS! Ants are the only creature great or small on god’s green earth that I unequivocally despise.

OK, I just posted that segment and I can’t watch it. I’m getting the willies just writing about it. So, if you ever want to know my weakness, like you’re trying to extract information from me about that secret government alien implant… just show me pictures of bloated insect corpses with mushrooms sprouting out of them with David Attenborough on an endless loop saying “cockroaches.” Believe me, I’ll cave.

August 31, 2009 at 4:11 am Leave a comment

Dreams Come True (or something)

It’s lame I know, but I was filling out one of those cheesy Facebook survey questionnaire things the other day because I had nothing else to do that I felt like doing… and one of the questions was “what is your dream job?” So I answered, “art director for movies.” I’ve always wanted to design movie sets, but ironically the only class I failed in design school was Art Direction. It’s always been there in the back of my head, though. I never really thought I’d ever do it because I had absolutely no idea where to even begin, and I’m sure it would require more school. No, I can’t afford more school. Even if I could, I don’t want to do anymore working full time to support myself while going to school full time, because that shit SUCKED!!!

So then I had a revelation… I could volunteer to do scenery on some student movie or something. So, I looked up on the New England Film website (there is a movie industry here since they now give tax breaks to people who film here) and found some people making a movie that needed a crew. I emailed them and I’ll meet with them on Sunday. Wow, that was easy! Now I can see if this is something I really can do! There’s no budget, so I doubt I’ll have to design sets from the ground up, I mean like constructing walls and stuff, because I don’t have any experience at that sort of thing. But, if they just need someone to sew up a tablecloth or paint a room, or even work out what goes in the room and where, I’m there! Though this will probably eat up all my free time should I get picked to do it, I’m really psyched!

August 14, 2009 at 2:06 am Leave a comment

RIP John Hughes…

The man who helped create the idea that sometimes the weirdo underdog in high school actually comes out on top has died… that would be John Hughes, writer of such 80s icon movies as The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Weird Science etc. Truthfully, I didn’t appreciate these movies until way later in life, as I thought of myself as way too sophisticated and cultured or something to watch this teeny-bopper crap when it came out. I was so sophisticated I could recite the entire Monty Python and the Holy Grail from memory by the time I was 14. I was so sophisticated I religiously watched Miami Vice, but I was too cool for Sixteen Candles. Uh-huh.

I actually really dug Some Kind of Wonderful— it was basically Pretty in Pink with the sexes reversed… and the right people ended up together in the end, finally! At Bard College They would show movies sometimes in the student center (i.e., old gym) and one time they showed Sixteen Candles. At hearing the news, the Students Of Color Association (or whatever it was called; there weren’t enough ethnic people at that school to have individual student groups for Black people, Asians, Latinos etc.) staged a protest because of negative Asian racial stereotypes (Long Duck Dong) and showed Sixteen Candles as an alternative. Truthfully, I don’t think anyone showed up to either one. However, by then (1993), the 80s were already a kitchy nostalgia trip, and these movies were cultural icons. And yeah, I never saw The Breakfast Club until I was like 25.

So what can I say on the matter? I must say I was seriously annoyed by the Home Alone saga cycle and I wasn’t a huge fan of his oeuvre post 1987… but it’s sad when people die I guess. I really can’t bring myself to get too worked up over celebrity death. Alas, there will never be a Beethoven’s 6th.

August 12, 2009 at 4:14 am 1 comment

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More Obsessions

It’s weird– I’m getting even more fixated on things lately than usual. Also, I can’t sleep and am not hungry. I don’t get it. Anyway, my latest (re-)obsession is Battlestar Galactica. I stopped obsessively watching it for a month or so, but I’m back! Unfortunately, there’s something weird going on with my computer, so I can’t watch it there. I was watching Season 3 DVDs at Jack & Laura’s, but I finished them all and am now onto season 4… which isn’t on DVD yet. Thus I’ve been streaming the episodes on a crappy Chinese site. The funny thing is the descriptions (at least I think this is a synopsis):

在宇宙中未知的地方有一个由12个人类殖民地组成的星际国家,人类为了方便制造了Cylons(机器人)为人类服务,但Cylons起来反抗人类,双方在血战之后停火,Cylons离开了殖民地去建立自己的家园。40年的和平让人类放松了警惕,Cylons通过人类内部的间谍瘫痪了人类的防御系统,摧毁了Battlestar舰队,用核武器将殖民地的城市化为灰烬。Battlestar Galactica是唯一一艘幸存的航母,它在舰长Adama的指挥下带领几十艘各式各样的民船和近5万名幸存者逃离了殖民地的行星系统,开始了寻找人类的第13个殖民地-地球-的旅程。

Apparently “Cylons” don’t translate into Chinese!

I’m kind of bummed– the dollhouse trailer that I’ve been working on isn’t the right scale. It’s too short. If I want it to be realistic, I’m going to have to make it at least 40 inches long, which is gigantic for a dollhouse (and I have no room in my house for it!). I made some walls last night and even wallpapered one with some cheesy 70s wallpaper I printed out. I made crappy-looking wood panelling for one wall as well. Now… do I make it with a tiny living room/kitchen + a microscopic kids’ room and a fairly small master bedroom all squeezed into 1/2 the size it should be, or should I just bite the bullet and make it long enough? Also, it’s the wrong shape– it’s perfect for an airstream trailer, but not a mobile home trailer! Should I just make an airstream and then work on the big trailer later? (I still haven’t decided what to make the satellite dish out of). So many stupid decisions about trivial things!

June 25, 2009 at 2:02 pm Leave a comment

I can’t stop

Talking about the dollhouse, that is! I am particularly proud of the refrigerator I made:

fridge

Lest you think I’m losing my edge, The pink slip is a Disciplinary Notice saying that “Frank uses the F word frequently” and the grocery list has crack on it. Also, Frank’s failing art, gym and spelling on his report card.

I haven’t been sleeping much nor have I been eating; i’m way too wrapped up in this dollhouse stuff. Seriously. I forgot to eat on Friday and Sunday, and the only reason I ate anything on Saturday was because I went to Laura’s house and she grilled sausages. I’ve been staying up until 2 or 3 a.m… I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Obsessive, I guess. It could also be because the weather’s been crappy and I haven’t been able to ride my bike and thus feel like a giant slug.

Also, I’ve been getting these awful reactionary email forwards for some time; I just assumed that someone signed me up for some mailing list to be funny or out of spite or something. However, I think it may just be a wrong address. Before I’ve gotten a bunch of emails that were intended for someone named Dot Dosch, and some for a Dot Dasher. I have no idea what these are about, but the person sent me a bunch of Craig’s List listings for pink baby furniture. Craig’s List in Springfield, IL, that is. When I wrote back to say that I wasn’t actually having a baby and that my name is Norah (in case she thought it was going to a Dot), this is what I got back:

anyname991@netzero.net
(no subject)

Dear NORA,

I thought maybe your baby Nora would like a crib set that was cheap. You are a freak Nora.

best wishes

Edith

WTF? All the other things I’ve gotten are about how Obama wants everyone on earth to run out and get an abortion and worship satan and punch their grandmothers on the way out and things of that ilk. Sometimes they are in the guise of “jokes”. I don’t get it. Oh well, whatever.

June 23, 2009 at 4:55 am Leave a comment

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