Posts filed under ‘fun’

More fun

I did a lot of stuff this week! It’s kind of amazing, I had a 4-day run of getting out of the house and doing stuff. Thursday night I went to see !!!, which was totally awesome x 1,000,000,000.

Friday I went with Patty to see Zach Galifianakis at UMass Lowell. We got there way early and stood in line with all the students; we were around the oldest people in the crowd by at least 15 years. However, there was one lady in her 40s who was also there, we knew because ZG went into the crowd and “interviewed” people and then picked on them. We sat next to this one beefy meathead who kept yelling things out before the show and trying to get everyone to do the “Mighty Ducks Quack” where everyone shouts “Quack. Quack. Quack” in unison while clapping or something. He didn’t have much luck recruiting people, but he did sure try. Everything he said he said loudly in that “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” tone of voice that was the equivalent of amp feedback to my ears– they literally buzzed every time the dude opened his mouth. I was both horrified and amused. There was a couple ahead of me who made out the whole time. When they weren’t making out, the buck-toothed girl chewed gum loudly and cooed at her somewhat jocky dude. Ah college students. I’m so glad I’m not one of them. I ride my bike through Harvard every day and see students lounging under trees on the grassy park with their laptops probably reading the notes someone copied for them from the lecture they were too high to go to… and I think to myself, how it might be nice to be one… then reality hits me and I am so freaking glad I never have to write another expository essay again! I’m glad I don’t have to take Freshman English again (I had to take it 4 times total, since each school I transferred to didn’t accept any other school’s English requirement)! I’m glad I don’t have to eat in a dining hall (although the different colors of ambrosia salad every day at SUNY Oswego were kind of nice), work a crappy work-study job, and most of all be in any more debt!

So anyway, back to Zach G. He’s hilarious. Of course, I can’t remember anything particularly funny he said off the top of my head. Here’s a performance he did, he did some of the same jokes on Friday:

After the show, Patty and I ate dinner at this Asian place in Lowell and I had the most awesomest crab rangoons EVER! The rest of the food was awesome too, and they had a tv going where they were showing some kind of reality talent show in Vietnamese. We were the only people in the place. All in all, it was a pretty fun evening.

Saturday I went apple picking with Laura, Jack & Nathan, Tanya, Jess & John, and Patricia and Barney and their two kids Wesley and Penelope. Apparently I’ve been playing Scrabble with Patricia (Terrence sets up 3-player games) for months, but had no idea it was her!

Yesterday I went to Little Bitch’s place in Clinton and we ate burgers and chips and drank beer (yes! He drinks beer again!) and watched movies. We saw “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist” which was kind of cute as well as “Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves” which is always a good bad movie. It was fun just chilling. I haven’t chilled and watched movies & drank beer with buddies in a long time. Plus, he has an adorable kitten which I spent a lot of time molesting.

Today was a day off and I did pretty much nothing except bake. I should probably clean stuff or do something productive.

September 8, 2009 at 2:22 am Leave a comment

How ’bout them apples?

Saturday I went apple picking with Laura and Jack & Tanya and some other people someplace in the Blackstone Valley. The weather was absolutely perfect and there were tons of apples on almost every tree– I was surprised because back home in the boonies, apples aren’t ready until much later. Anyway, I came home with a giant bag of apples and what did I do with them? I made apple crisp which was kind of iffy. I’m not sure what happened, but it wasn’t good. It was kind of dry, in fact. However, I made up for it by making apple pie with bacon. IT IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!! I mean, bacon makes *everything* better, especially apple pie!

This is the recipe I used:

Bacon Apple Pie


* Pastry for 9-inch pie, uncooked
* 6 cups apples, peeled and cut into thin slices (about 2 1/4 lbs or 8 medium apples)
* 3/4 lb uncooked bacon
* 3/4 cup sugar
* 2 Tbl flour
* 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
* 1/4 tsp nutmeg
* 1 Tbl milk
* 1 Tbl sugar

Fry bacon in skillet until slightly floppy. Drain on paper towel. Chop bacon into 1/2″ pieces. Line bottom of pastry-lined pie plate with a layer of bacon, reserving the rest.

In a large bowl, mix together 3/4 cup sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Add apple slices and remaining bacon pieces. Toss to coat.

Transfer bacon-apple mixture to pastry-lined pie plate. Place upper crust on pie plate (bonus points for a lattice, double bonus points if you can show me a bacon lattice!) and seal. Cut slits in the top if you are using double crust to allow to vent. Brush top with milk and sugar. Bake at 375 F for 1 hour or until bubbly.

Cool on a wire rack. Serve with smoked cheddar cheese slices.

Holy crap it rules. Now I just have 1/2 bag of apples to figure out what to do with… maybe applesauce.

In other news, before I gave up dating from the innernets forever, I managed to get a date with a Russian computer programmer. We’re going to see the new Tarantino movie tomorrow night. I actually pretty much hated every Tarantino movie I’ve seen, and I also swore off dating Slavs, but as you can see I’m lowering my standards. We’ll see how this goes.

September 8, 2009 at 1:32 am Leave a comment

Scooter & Gay Rob’s Big Adventure

Terrence had been on vacation in California for a week or so and now was back, so to celebrate Gay Rob & I did what we do best and went to his house to drink on his porch. Now lately I haven’t been drinking very much and am a lightweight. It doesn’t take many rum & cokes to get me a little toasted… and we were discussing I don’t know what when Rob said, “will somebody tell me why we don’t have any coke or ice?” Normally I would realize that this is because we’re drinking cuba libres and are out of coca cola, the active ingredient and also that when I went to the ice tray in the fridge, all of them were filled with very un-frozen water. However, I thought Rob was talking about cocaine and ice (back in the recesses of my mind I recalled this was a drug term for something or other) so I mentioned how I had some ecstasy back home. Rob and I then made a plan to take it the following day after I finished watering the plants at Harvard Business School.

So the next day arrives and Rob and I decide to take our big drug trip at the Copley mall and environs for entertainment value. We get down there and ingest said narcotic… and nothing really happened at all. I felt slightly dizzy, but that could have been because I was in this gigantic swanky mall and it was hot out. This mall has stores dedicated to Armani and Coach and other things that even if I could afford them would never buy because they just are so immediately enabling of conspicuous consumerism they just crack me up. Anyway, the drug trip was a big disappointment, though we had fun walking around amd making fun of stuff.

After that Rob decides we should go to Fritz, this gay sports bar (!) where he hangs out. It was kind of funny– there were big screen tvs showing various ball games, but all were being watched by nicely-dressed dudes with perfect hairdos. The whole ambience was kind of surreal. Then we went to The Alley, another gay bar where Rob hangs out– this one is more divey and could easily be an Allston hangout, except for the Shirley Bassey playing on the jukebox.

So that’s my big exciting drug story for the year. My crazy trips have been pretty tame lately– Hey, at least I got out of the house and had fun!

August 30, 2009 at 5:56 am Leave a comment

Beach Day!

Today is the first beach day of the year, and my STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CATS are doing everything within their little evil furry powers to stop me from going. I awoke this morning and went to put my bathing suit on… only to find that not only had it been peed on, but it had been ripped up. Lard Ass is really OCD about covering up his excretions, only he doesn’t really get the concept. He’ll pee in the cat box and then go scratch at the ceiling of the cat box, some newspapers in the kitchen, my laundry, the couch pillows, anything until I throw something at him and make him stop. So no bathing suit. No biggie. It was kind of an ugly one anyway. I didn’t want a slutty bathing suit and the only non-slutty ones they had at Target when Moth was insisting she buy me one last post-Christmas sale season were for fat old ladies. This one boasted that it made you look skinnier than any other suit. Unfortunately, it was really saggy in the boob area because large people who want to look slender invariably have a way bigger rack than I do.

Now I’m going to have to buy a new bathing suit, which I hate more than almost anything on earth (shoe shopping is still a more odious task– I think this hatred is linked to the non-girly gene that prevents me from ever getting a date with non-schizophrenics).

But wait! I have 2 cats! What could adorable little Jarvis do to prevent my beach going? Well, he’s been nesting on my towel shelf, so there is a 3-inch layer of cat hair on my beach towel. Unless I want to look like an orange and white Sasquatch when I get out of the water, I’m going to have to find other towel arrangements.

When I get back from the ocean, I’m gonna take both bitchez to the Wok n’ Roll Chinese restaurant and have them turned into a nice plate of General Gao’s Chicken. Then perhaps I will make a new bathing suit out of their pelts.

July 19, 2009 at 2:31 pm 1 comment

Move Over, R. Kelly!

Whenever I mention that I’m taking care of a baby boy, people always feel the need to share their experiences with changing boy diapers. Everyone has been peed on, and it’s always at the forefront of their mind when I mention taking care of my nephews or anything. Well i got to experience the joys of baby urination today and it sure was exciting! Neville was in a cranky mood all day, crying and being generally crochety. His mother mentioned that he hadn’t pooped since yesterday at about 6:00 a.m. Yes, when you take care of babies, their excretory functions become a major source of interest. So anyway, he was a grouchy little grump all day… until I went to change his diapers and he managed to hit me in the abdominal region with his power peeing. After that, he was ecstatic. Seriously. He thought it was hysterical and was happy and giggly for the rest of the day. Someone’s got to stop playing R. Kelly for him!

So yeah, my days are filled with keeping track of baby’s digestion. It sounds awful, but it beats trying to kill fungus gnats in plants any day!

Yesterday was my day off and I had an adventure… that is I got to go to not one, but TWO different RMVs! (that’s what they call the DMV in MA– the Registry of Motor Vehicles). I took care of the plants at Harvard in the morning, then rode my bike downtown to pay some parking tickets at City Hall, then rode over to the RMV in Chinatown. I knew it was too good to be true– the wait was about 5 minutes. I gave the lady my stuff and she folded all the receipts neatly, shoved them into an envelope and wrote “RECEIPTS TO KEEP” on them and handed it to me saying, “you’ll need to keep these.” Then she said she couldn’t renew my licence plates because I didn’t have an RMV-3 form proving that I have insurance. “But I have my car’s registration. I couldn’t register the car without insurance” I said, which made no difference. The insurance people gave me an RMV-3 form, but I gave it to the RMV already when I registered the car. Oy vey! So, I rode home, got in the car and went to Watertown to the insurance place, got another RMV-3 form, took it to the RMV in Watertown and waited an hour in line. Of course, for certain transactions they only take cash, so I had to run to the ATM in Target… which was out of order. Thus I ended up buying a tugboat-shaped throw rug from the dollar rack and getting cash back with the debit card. Then I discovered that the dude at the insurance office had put the wrong address on the form.

It all worked out in the end, though… my car is registered and renewed and all set until 2011!

Then I drove to Allston to meet Robin aka Lil’ Bitch at Our House for some 2-for-1 burgers. Lil’ Bitch is not drinking anymore. in fact, he now goes to gay AA. Yes, he’s not gay (we think) and I really doubt he’s a bona fide alcoholic, but he goes to gay AA meetings anyway because the people are nicer. Hey, whatever works, right? Laura and Dave from 4 Seasons and Laura’s roommate met me there also (Robin had to leave early to go do homework). We had a few drinks and it was fun… until I got to my car and discovered that I had left the lights on and now the battery was dead. So, I called Terrence and he helped me jump start it, which was no easy task since I was parked perpendicularly and had to put the car in neutral and push it around to a good spot with traffic coming. I owe him many beers!

Hopefully the car drama is over with now. Oh, I mean it will be over with hopefully next Wednesday when I get the darn thing fixed!

June 12, 2009 at 1:42 am Leave a comment

New job!

OK, the baby finally went to sleep so I can sit down! Yes, i’m at my new job– the baby is 4 months old and already has covered me in barf. It’s OK, though– there’s something about babies that gives them a free pass on bodily fluids not being kept to themselves. He’s actually totally adorable, and I don’t really consider myself a baby freak.

Krustee came up this weekend and we met with a couple of his friends who are hardcore into testing out fancy cocktails in swanky places. It was pretty fun; these are places that I had no idea existed and also probably would ignore anyway had I known about them based solely on the fact that crappy beer is more in my budget. On a side note, one of the places we went (Craigie in Central) actually serves Narragansett beer in addition to the $12 cocktails. ‘Gansett is the local beer analagous to Pabst Blue Ribbon, and as far as I know it only comes in 16-oz cans. Anyway… though I spent more money on 4 drinks Saturday night than I have in the previous 3 weeks, it was still fun.

June 1, 2009 at 2:46 pm Leave a comment

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I’m out of drugs and my shrink is away for the week! Nobody can refill my prescription because they are not authorized to. Come on, people– can’t someone look at my file, see I’ve been taking these meds for a number of months, and that they’re not the kind of thing that you’re supposed to go off of cold-turkey, and just initial a refill? Apparently not. Thus, I’m getting those weird brain flashes and I’ve been feeling increasingly like jumping off a bridge. However, in a fit of I-don’t-know-what, I bought some ecstasy from a buddy of Davey My Future-ex-Coworker’s a couple of weeks ago. I was planning on taking it at the Modeselektor/Apparat show that I’m going to on Sunday (SO PSYCHED for this show!), but thought I’d test it out first. I took 1/2 a hit last night, (1/2 in case they cut it with lots of caffeine so I wouldn’t be up all night). It didn’t really do much; that is I didn’t feel anything… until this morning. This morning was the first morning that I’ve felt AWESOME in a long time! I was cheerful, optimistic, it was almost like being back to my old self only slightly better. Rock on, illicit drugs! If I could only get Blue Cross Blue Shield to cover it, I’d have life made in the shade!

Today I rode my bike from Charlestown to Davey m.f.ex-c-w’s house in Winthrop with him (you’re not allowed to take bikes on the train from 4:00 until 7:00 and his house is fairly far from the T station). It was a really nice, albeit long bike ride. The weather today was totally gorgeous (warm, sunny, in the high 70s), and even though Harvard Medical School still has their heat on so the buildings were so hot inside the hydrogen atoms were fusing into helium before my very eyes, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The ride took us by the harbor, over a sweet drawbridge, and through Eastie, which always smells like the ocean. We jammed with one of Dave’s buddies and played some Pixies songs as well as Journey (I sang). I feel like I’m actually evolving a little bit! I’ve levelled up from Embarrassingly-Shitty Bassist to Potentially-Mediocre Bassist!

On the way home dragging my bike and bass on the T, I was stuck walking down the corridor behind a bunch of loud indecisive tourists dragging large wheelie suitcases. They walked 5 abreast so it was impossible to get around them, and kept stopping because they didn’t know where they were going. When I had the opportunity, I went around them and then hoisted my bike up the stairs so I could get to the upper platform before the wandered around and blocked traffic again. Of course in my haste I managed to trip *up* the stairs somehow causing my bike to land on top of me. I have massive bruises all over my legs and they freaking HURT! Stupid tourists! They were here for a Sox game I think, judging from their loud conversation. I blame the stupid fucking Red Sox. Everything annoying is their fault! I hereby Reverse The Reversed Curse! I put the Curse back in Forward!

My newly upgraded computer no longer plays sound. I’m not sure what that’s about. It worked fine yesterday. Also, I installed Ad-Aware as well as Malware Removal so the spyware thing doesn’t happen again. I’ve found that they each find different things, so using them both is more effective than having just one. However, Ad-Aware keeps trying to get rid of Malware Removal because it thinks it is spyware. useful. I’m really sick of computer irritation! I suppose if I had just broken down and bought a legitimate computer that came fully made and loaded with Windoze already this may not have happened… but I’m cheap. Sue me. So, what am I going to do about the sound? I have no clue. I don’t want to think about it right now. However, the lack of sound is impeding my ability to watch Battlestar Galactica. I haven’t watched a single episode in at least a week, although this has been more due to my rigorous drinking schedule more than to computer faults.

I’ve been partying a little too hard lately, I think. Or rather, drinking too much. Jamming = drinking (I mean, what’s rock and roll without booze?) Also, there’s this bar right next to the warehouse called The Tavern at The End Of The World, which has become the traditional place to go after work. This will all change in 2 weeks, though, when I get my new job! I mean, Allston is convenient to many fine establishments that I used to frequent (the Silhouette, Model, Our House etc.), but I don’t think Nathan is quite old enough yet to be an after-work drinking buddy. We’ll wait until he hits 8 months old before we wean him off of one bottle and onto another one!

Oh yeah, i can’t completely cut the umbilical cord– I’ll still be working at Four Seasons 1/2 day on Tuesdays (my day off from nanny-ing) to take care of the plants in the Harvard Business School chapel. See all these plants?:

Yeah, that’s all me! This picture shows only about 1/4 of the plants, too! This place totally rocks, and I’ve been spending zillions of hours whipping it into shape. There are these nasty mutant mealy bugs that are going nuts there without any natural preditors, and I’m on a crusade to hunt down and kill them. Most mealybugs are tiny, the size of a pinhead or smaller. These ones, however, are almost as big as potato bugs. They are scary mofos!

So anyway, yeah. I’ll still be working in the plant care business, but in a very limited capacity!

May 21, 2009 at 4:24 am Leave a comment

Sucky Sucky Day

Today sucked SO FREAKING HARD! Really. First of all, some evil spyware downloaded itself onto my computer and froze all the programs, changed the desktop to a poorly worded and even more atrociously spelled warning about how my computer now had spyware on it and the only wayto get rid of it was to run the program it installed. Then it would open IE and try to go to a gay porn site, but IE wouldn’t let it. I tried everything, but, after consulting Squeals, the only thing I could do was wipe out my C drive and re-install Windows. This wasn’t such a big deal because I’m paranoid, and only use the C drive for Windows (all the good stuff is on the Z and D drives), but as always there were complications. I inherited 3 different Windows XP installation disks from various nerds, and lo and behold, none of them had working serial numbers! Thus I reformatted my C drive, but couldn’t put an operating system on it. Somewhere I have 18 disks of Windows 3.11– I should have just used those!

So I got really annoyed. But before I could start breaking things, Davey from work said he was having a BBQ and I should go over and jam with him and some buddies. So I started out on my bike. It was sunny and beautiful and about 70 degrees. I got about 5 feet away from my house when the chain on my bike came off. This is normally not such a big deal, but in this case it got stuck behind the bolt that was holding the back tire rack on and I couldn’t get it out from underneath it. I couldn’t take the bolt out easily either, because it was too long and kept hitting the gears. How did it get on in the first place? Someone had to have taken the entire back wheel off! I didn’t have the patience for that, so I managed to get it out by bending it a little bit. I put the chain back on, but the bolt wouldn’t go back on since now that the chain was in place, there was even less room for it to maneuver in. Thus I secured the rack in place with a piece of wire, opting to go to the hardware store on the way to Winthrop.

I got to the hardware store and bought a bolt that seemed to be perfect (of course I wrote the wrong code# down for it and paid 45 cents when I should have only paid 15, but whatever)… but when I got it on the bike, it was too short. So, I went and bought the next size longer (17 cents!), but of course that one was too long. The last time I went in I bought a smaller wing nut for the first bolt and that seemed to do the trick, although it’s still a little loose and will probably have to be replaced soonish.

After wasting all that time I finally got on the T, which is a pain because of course I am on the Red Line, which crosses every other line except the Blue Line. In fact, of the Red, Blue, Orange and Green lines, the only two that don’t cross each other are the Red and the Blue, of course. This makes for extra fun dragging the 50 billion pound pile of ancient 1960s era metal (a homeless dude collecting cans was really impressed with my bike though, and told me all about his Raleigh from the 1960s that had just snapped in half for some unknown reason) up extra stairways and escalators. When I got to the Blue Line finally I had to wait forever as at least 3 trains going in the wrong direction went by as well as  2 “test trains” (such a tease!). When a train finally showed up it was too crowded with people wheeling gigantic baby buggies who always stop right in the doorway so nobody can get by for me to even get on. Thus I had to wait for the NEXT train. Oy vey. By the time I got to Winthrop it was about 55 degrees and looking like it was about to rain.

All this was occurring with me not having eaten anything all day, being still slightly sick (was out of work with a fever the previous two days), still pissed off at the computer, and not having taken any meds (the prescription ran out and I have to visit the shrink again for a refill). I was cranky. I finally got to Davey’s place and we were jamming with this Asian kid on drums– it was actually pretty fun, but I tend to get frustrated easily in this frame of mind. Plus, these other friends of his came over and they were all asking me how old I was and I could easily have been their mothers since they are all TEENAGERS! Jeez. What am I doing hanging out with kids still in high school? Does this make me really cool and down with the kids? No, I think it makes me really fucking pathetic actually. Whatever, it was fun until I started freaking out inwardly from frustration and went to leave… and discovered that I hadn’t gotten a Windows disk from Dave and he still needed to burn it etc. etc. Anyway, we all ended up barbecuing and that was pretty rad.

I didn’t even mind the obnoxiously long ride back that was made even more annoying by the fact that I was bringing my bass back to practice to now I had to negotiate the narrow stairways in the T stations with a large clunky poorly anchored instrument as well as an ancient heavy bike.

But anyway, the Windows disk worked and here I am back on the innernets, spyware free. I guess the day didn’t turn out so badly after all, but damn was I near ready to kill something! I haven’t been this short on patience in a while. I feel bad imposing my irritating qualities on people under these circumstances– I should just quarantine myself when I get like this. instead I just get really quiet and people think I’m weird or stuck-up or something. whatever. Do I care that much what people think? Especially when I am probably the same age as said peoples parents? God I feel OLD. I need to start hanging out in nursing homes or something, at least then maybe I’ll feel younger.

On another note, I’ve got a new job! Laura and Jack need a nanny for Nathan (he’s uh… 3 months old now?) and I’m just that fed up with watering plants. I’m going to give my 2 weeks notice tomorrow! It will be so weird having a job where I can wear real clothing… I’ve gotten really used to throwing on a work shirt and whatever pair of non-jeans I have lying around that is the least smelly and covered in spanish moss/dirt/foam crumbs. I may have to pay attention to what I’m wearing again! Or not; it’s not like 3-month old babies require much impressing. God I’m such a cranky bastard. I really need to chill out today.

May 17, 2009 at 3:56 am Leave a comment


Let’s see… today was one of those shitty days at work where I seemed to spend a ton of time getting nothing accomplished. However, it was kind of fun because I was delivering flowers with this kid Davey, and we spent the time playing the Anal Car game– where you put the word “anal” in front of the models of cars you see to see if it would make a good porn movie name. yes, it’s juvenile, but it can be hilarious if you’re stuck behind an Anal Explorer or cut off in traffic by the Anal Express.

After work I went with Davey to pick up a drum kit that he had bought. We went back to his place and some of his friends came over and set it up and we sort of jammed (that is, I’m still pretty bad at jamming). It was fun although all of his friends are teenagers and I felt kind of old (he’s 22). His one friend kept saying, “it’s really hot in here. It’s like… the Holocaust!” Ah, kids these days! It was fun, but I’m wicked tired and he lives in Winthrop, which takes forever to get back from (requires riding the bike TO the train, and then taking the bike on 3 different train lines).

On the way back I was carrying my bike down the stairs at Downtown Crossing when thid dude asked me if I needed help. I thanked him, but said no, I could manage. He then launched into this speech about how women are just not as strong as men, and that’s how it will always be. He could carry both of his babies at once, but his wife could only do it one kid at a time. I don’t know where he was from (I’m guessing maybe North Africa?), but it kind of cracked me up. He said he didn’t like “close-minded people”, and by this I think he was referring to chicks who think they can carry their own bikes. I wasn’t quite sure where he was going with this conversation, but then he started talking about how he was going to start a flower business. OK then!

Thursday I went to see the new <i>Star Trek</i> movie, and it was AWESOME!!! I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it was really good. there was enough geekery in it to keep Trekkies amused, but enough of  regular movie to see if you have no clue about Star Trek. I dug it. Rock on.

May 12, 2009 at 3:22 am Leave a comment

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